first batch of film in half a year and it turned out to be pretty rubbish. hope the next is better. i really miss when i'd be dropping by triple d almost every day and that kept me really happy. photographs and photographs and photographs. i want to be that girl again.

always feeling like something inside of me has died. like whatever it is that sustains me is to be replaced with something less special

and some time in the future i'll find myself thinking of these days wishing i was still like this

got excited over the variety of cartoon instax mini films while waiting for my film in the shop today. my mother was with me and out of nowhere she told me, "choose one, i'll buy it for you." come to think of it she rarely sees me anymore, let alone happy.

maybe i'm asking for too much. maybe all i should be striving for is to feel peace within me.

some nights i have none of it at all